Taking the Long Way Home

So I've been bad. I was supposed to update this thingy ASAP. It's kind of evident I haven't. To be honest, I'm writing to an extremely small audience, so I seriously doubt anyone is too fussed over my sporadic publishing.

We digress...

When I was about eight or so, I thought a plane ride was the most exhilarating event in the world. Though I didn't fly very often, the whole process of flying made me feel decidedly glamorous and grown-up. Of course, I was too little to know that Cleveland, Ohio was not an exotic destination. Now that I am older, the destinations have become a bit more exotic; however, I've become a bit more jaded.

First of all, I can never get through the airport without being sent to the "special" line, where I'm patted down and chatted up by pervy security guys. Secondly, I'm significantly larger than I was at eight, and leg room has not increased proportionately. (How cool would that be? Well, come to think of it, most chairs in America are now wider, redesigned to accommodate the 'obesity epidemic'. But let's not get started on all of that; that's a whole different post.) Thirdly, since I've become an adult, my mom has stopped doling out in-flight snacks, coloring books, and crayons. Recently, she hasn't even accompanied me on flights, leaving me to fend for myself! :)

I got up at four, so I'd be certain to have enough time to catch my 8 am flight out of Bangkok. Since I was so prepared, the flight (naturally) left at noon. Allegedly, there was a mechanical problem although no mechanics were actually working on the plane. I hypothesize our pilot had a crazy night out in Patpong, and couldn't get his head out of the toilet to report for work. Unfortunately, Pilot Drunkie delayed our plane so badly, I nearly missed the connecting flight. A bunch of people from the Pleasure Manpower group (I swear, I'm not making this up) kept complaining. In an attempt to satiate the Pleasure Manpower, the airlines passed out free sandwiches from Burger King. (An incredibly brilliant maneuver, seeing how it would be quite difficult to complain around a huge mouthful of Whopper.)

Fortunately, I made the connecting flight, cleared customs in Seattle, then flew into Houston, where the whole familia was waiting for me. Needless to say, I was a whole lot of excited!

The whole day with all of its craziness was thirty-one hours long. (I crossed the international date line, so the "day" was the longest of my life...)