So I almost die...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm being dramatic. I know, but sometimes the drama is quite irresistible. Maybe I didn't "almost die", but I did have a pretty bad accident--combined with some pretty good luck that kept me out of real trouble.

I know it's completely hokey to say it, but I will. I feel truly fortunate to be alive, because life is a wonderful thing. Don't hate me for being cheesy, it ruins the rosy perspective on things I have developed in the wake of my whole post-life-threatening-experience. ;)

I was the victim of a hit-and-run while in Tanzania, though I hate using the word "victim" because it seems like a ploy for sympathy or an attempt to elevate myself to the status of a martyr. I was mostly just minding my own business, crossing the street, when I was mowed down by a Matato (mini-bus/large passenger van) that was traveling around 35 mph.

Now, generally, I'm not a dumb person. I know how to cross streets. I look both ways. However, sometimes things happen that are out of your control. I was standing in a traffic-free lane when the van decided to pass another vehicle, thus moving into my lane and striking me on the right side. My head went through the windshield, lodging me on the front of the van for a bit. I was then thrown off of the van onto the ground where I lay convulsing for several minutes. Of course this is all hearsay, because I was concussed and quite unconscious the whole time.

I was revived several hours later as my leg was being sewn up. (There was a hole down to my muscle.) I think the pain brought me to. After I woke up, I proceeded to say some impolite words and I might have called the doctor a not-so-nice name. (He asked me if the stitches hurt. I said something like "Of course it hurts, you idiot!" Which is a shame because the doctor was not an idiot, in fact he was quite smart and quite cute. I don't think he took it personally though.)

These are the extra few things I have to say about the accident:

• Fortunately, I didn't see the Matato coming. If I had turned to see it, my face would have been completely obliterated. And I have to say, it would have been kind of crappy to have my face ripped to shreds. Clumps and clumps of my hair came out, which was depressing enough. I think I'll be getting a haircut.

• The back (right) side of my head bruised so badly my left eye swelled shut. I've still got a pretty good shiner and it's been over two weeks since the accident. My head feels soft to the touch. Sort of like a baby's head. It's pretty gross.

• Let me tell you a few things about third world emergency care: First of all, the correct name of the transport (regardless of vehicle type) the sick/injured person uses to get to the hospital is "the ambulance". Though they have three times the accidents, they don't so much have a proper emergency vehicle.

• Health care in a third-world country is cheap. The cost of emergency care, medication, and one night's hospital stay: 280 USD. Of course all this comes at a price, as I'm a little freaked out that the syringes might not have been clean. If I come down with Hep. C or AIDS, you'll know why. Okay, I've succeeded in really freaking myself out, and I think I may go get a blood test. (Of course, Nairobi was more expensive. My two week hospital stay was 5 thousand dollars. All of which was picked up by my travel insurance. I did get them a fifty-dollar rebate for refusing to take painkillers.)

• I was flown from Arusha, Tanzania to Nairobi, Kenya. I don't remember much of the flight, as I was on morphine. Mostly I had happy glowing thoughts about everyone and everything. I was feeling really warm and fuzzy toward my nurse and I told him several times what a good nurse he was. I think I also decided to build a new hospital in Arusha. That was the morphine talking.

• Total accident tally: 1 concussion, 2 broken pelvic bones (I tend to do things in pairs, remember the broken wrists?), 12 stitches.

• I think I have an allergy to blood thinners. I was receiving injections in the hospital and started throwing up like mad. I couldn't hold down water and even started throwing up bile. It was gross and fairly depressing. Fortunately I made the connection and point-blank refused to take the injections. They were worried about me getting blood clots, so I pacified them by kicking my legs around instead.

• The inevitable question: What happened to the driver? Well, he was beat by the police for a bit and his license was taken away from him. It'll be like four months or something before he can get it back. I felt kind of bad about it. I mean the beating part. Not the license revocation part.

• I would like to say thanks to Tracy, Richard, and Jacky of taking such good care of me both pre and post accident. They are an incredible group of people and I'm sorry I didn't get to know them better. I would also like to thank the Muslim man that arranged my transport to the hospital and prayed over me whilst I was unconscious. I sorely regret that I cannot recall the sound of his voice or the details of his face because I consider him a savior, as well as a reminder that compassion knows no religious or ethnic boundaries. Rach--girl you crack me up and your visit was exactly what I needed to lift my spirits. A final thanks to the staff at the Nairobi Hospital. Without a doubt they are the best hospital staff in the whole wide world.

So I did get a fabulously free first-class ride home on KLM air. First-class passengers get cool collectible glass houses and as much alcohol as you want. I had two glasses of champagne, two glasses of cabernet, two glasses white dessert wine, and four glasses of port. Of course this was all spread out over an 18 hour flight. I'm not that big of an alkie. Ohhhh, and I had a massaging chair. How cool is that? (Plus a menu of 40+ movies to choose from...) I <3 KLM. Then a limo took me home. Maybe I didn't pay for all of this, but I definitely earned it by sailing through a windshield. ;)

I had a flight nurse come back with me, which was nice because I didn't have to stress about anything. My mom and I took her out for Mexican food the next day. I think she liked it. :) At least I did. I have missed the Mexican food. A lot. I've winged about the lack of Mexican food at every available opportunity.

I'm up right now because I'm kind of jet-lagged, and my hips are hurting. I'm not taking painkillers though, because I'm not wimpy.

Peace, love, and watch out for those Matatos,

Monique

Oh yeah... Even though I'm home, I will keep updating. Maybe not regularly. But the updates will be here.