This barbarian is reacquainted with shoes, makeup, and American society

"It's the good girls who keep the diaries. The bad girls never have the time."

- Tallulah Bankhead -

I would like to point out that a blog is essentially a (very public) diary. In the past, a few people have suggested that I had a tendency to be a bit...naughty...from time to time. So I'd like to refute that claim, because bad girls definitely wouldn't be bloggers. :)

So, mostly I've been busily growing my gluteus maximus, meaning I've been sitting on my butt a lot. In between my long bouts of sitting, I've just been kicking it with my family. Of course, this is really exciting because I've really missed them. Alternately, I have uber-long phone conversations with my friends. I'm slowly but surely getting my phone skills back, and I no longer freak out when I have to leave messages on answering machines.

I spent five hours in the doctors office. By the time the doctor finally showed up, I was kind of hungry, irritated at repeatedly answering the same exact questions, and bored out of my skull. (Even though I was irked, I managed to control the sarcasm that tends to leak out of my mouth from time to time.) I know this is rude, but I'm saying it anyway: I do not really like physicians. I know it's like the second most respected profession or something, but I just don't trust the little buggers.

If I go someplace where I'm required to do more than "minimal" walking, I have to take my wheelchair. Otherwise I'm liable to sit/lie down in the middle of the store and take a long rest. It's pretty cool because my mom wheels me around a variety of stores and buys me lots of pretty things, namely clothes or jewelry. Then I go home and play with my newly acquired articles. I guess that makes me sound a tad loser-ish. Oh well, if you know me, you ought to know that I am a downright quirky. Anyway, I found twenty bucks lying on the ground while my mom rolled me through a parking lot. I guess there are some advantages to using a wheelchair.

Yesterday I wandered (and by wandered I mean hobbled) around my house wearing pajamas with kitten heels. I also pulled all of my shoes out of my closet and kind of rolled around on them. Yeah, yeah, I know I sound like a psychopath, but months of wearing the same pair of shoes did drive me a bit bonky. I missed my shoes. I love my shoes.

After I fondled my shoes repeatedly, I spend an entrancing hour or so playing with my makeup. Since I was reunited with my collection of O.P.I. nailpolish I painted my nails, which I have finally stopped biting! (At least for the time being anyhow.)

My mom is doing a long-term substitution for third grade right now. Of course the littles absolutely adore her, so they all want to eat lunch with her. (They book lunchtime with her days in advance, in exchange for good behavior.) How cute is that?