More Istanbul

9:00 I wake up and have a Turkish breakfast, consisting of tomato, egg, feta cheese, and freshly baked bread. (Turks do not use lots of preservatives in their bread. It's against regulations and they will be fined. Seriously.) Today will be a busy day, as I am seeing the Hagia Sophia, Blue Mosque, purchasing a sleeping bag, and going to the Turkish bath.

10:00 Leave hostel. Head to tourist office for directions to camping store.

10:20 Oops. Have accidentally passed tourist office. Oh well, will go to the spice market instead. Decide to purchase an ice cream.

10:21 Drop my ice cream in a trash bin, as I discover public consumption of ice cream is tantamount to wearing a large placard saying, "Let's Have Sex!"

11:30 Finally arrive at tourist office. Get directions. I must take a ferry to the Asian side. How exciting!

12:20 Arrive in Asia. Purchase bus ticket. Ask the ticket vendor for directions. He is not helpful. I will find the proper bus myself.

12:30 Problem! There are about 60 buses from which to choose. I decide to stand on the corner and look around. Perhaps my bus will come and find me?

12:40 Still standing on street corner. Still looking from side to side. Finally I ask some girls, who are very helpful. Yay! On my way to the camping store.

2:00 Leaving the camping store. Have purchased ridiculously large sleeping bag. It is as large as my backpack. I shake my head in disappointment over its girth and mumble to myself. People look at me funny and steer clear of me as I pass them on the side walk.

2:01 The plastic bag carrying my new purchase rips under the enormous weight and size of its contents. I must carry my sleeping bag like a papoose. Cannot find where the bus picks up. No problem. I will walk back to the ferry port.

3:00 Still walking.

3:45 Yep. Still walking. Am lost now. Begin to navigate by the sun.

4:30 Sun has gone behind the clouds. Stand on the street corner looking lost--I'm getting really good at this--until the sun reappears.

4:45 Arrive at a freeway interchange. I need to cross the road. Perhaps I make a run for it? Eventually decide against it as I do not wish to endanger my papoose. I decide the papoose needs a name, because anything that large is deserving of a name. After some thought, I christen my sleeping bag "Gordy". Why? It sounds like the name of a fat kid.

5:30 Finally arrive back at the docks. Definitely will not be going to any mosques today. Head home to chill out for a few hours before the Turkish bath.

10:00 I get semi-naked for the Turkish bath. Is this supposed to be a relaxing experience? Very odd to be in such a state of undress in such close proximity with others. Feeling pretty stressed out right now.

10:15 Enter the steam room. Not too bad. Kind of like Houston in the early summer.

10:30 Definitely getting hotter, but I'm definitely relaxed now. Now I'm totally okay with all the naked people, and in fact it seems very natural. I'm kind of sweaty, so I pour cold water on myself. It doesn't help a lot.

11:00 Lying in a huge pool of my own sweat. When will it be my turn for the exfoliating/massage procedure? Will I die before then? My thought start spinning around and my mind visits strange places.

11:30 A lady brings in a bottle of water for me. I love her. Perhaps I will name my children after her.

11:45 Finally my turn! I am washed, scrubbed, massaged, pounded and finally rinsed with cool water. When I emerge from the steam room, I feel cleaner than I have ever felt before. It's been a long day and it's definitely time for bed.